So it's Sunday which means Rob and Robyn are off to church and Mom is left to herself.The quiet house was fine for a few minutes and than....WHAM.... the thoughts and memories of better days came crashing in.I remember how busy our weekends use to be with all the things the children "had" to do.Now those days are long gone and I realized just how much I miss them.I have become aware of just how much I have lost, not only was Dustin snatched from me but in the months that followed I have watched all my family and almost all my friends disappear.I have 1 friend that has stuck by me in this journey and I know it is only a matter of time before "poof" ...shes gone.So now when I have a moment, I sit alone and struggle with these horrible thoughts and images. I see now just how fragile life is....with 1 breath I can be in the arms of Rob and Robyn and the next..in Dustin's. There is such a thin balance between earth and heaven. I wonder what Dustin thought when he noticed that him mom and dad were no longer by his side.Did he take God's hand willingly or did he put up a fight saying...No I don't wanna go!Worse yet..Did he just take his hand and without looking back said OK. I wonder how they explained it to him? Did he question it or was he OK with it?I can picture him standing at the gates with those big sad puppy dog eyes wondering...when will they come for me? Oh how I miss that boy, I would give anything just to hold him and see his smile.I wish those were the images I could see but no...I see the disturbing ones.I remember exactely what he was wearing that night he passed..but not what he wore to school on that day. I can remember in vivid details how he looked on that stretcher yet I can't remember what he looked like sleeping next to me...I remember how cold and stiff he felt the last time I held him but the memories of his warm little body snuggled next to me I cannot.Why do all the things I remember have to be of that horrible day, when will the sweet innocent ones return?Oh Please ..let me see my little man like he was BEFORE that day.