Today started out like every other day.As soon as my eyes open the sick feeling hits me.I decided to go hunting.I should of known better but I went anyway.As I sat there and waited for the deer to come out, images of that night started to flash before my eyes.These sights brought tears to my eyes and I sat there under the tree sobbing for my little boy.I don't know what triggers these sights, or why I must keeping reliving that night but I do.When people speak of Dustin the image I see of him is from that night when I held him for the last time or of him in the casket.I wish I could see him as the boy that would run in and give me a kiss "just cause he thought I needed one".I guess this is the price I must pay for something I did wrong.I feel myself falling deeper and deeper into depression.The things I took pride in no longer matter.I force myself to bake occasionally for Robyn and Rob because I know if something should ever happen to them I would hate myself for not taking care of them the way I use to.I just wish everything could go back to the way it use to be before May.No matter how much I beg and plead with GOD he does not send him back.My head tells me it is impossible for me to get my son back but my heart cries for him so bad and the mother in me will not rest until I hold my son in my arms again, right where he BELONGS.I love you Dusty with all that I am.