It has been almost 6 months since the accident.I have been told some of the dumbest things, so Jen and I thought it might be helpful for me to make a list of what to say and what not to say.I will continue to add to the list as I remember them.This list is not ment to hurt anyones feelings just help them if you should ever face this again. 1) Please don't say "You Know How I Feel" unless you have actually experienced the death of a child.It is not the same as losing a parent,friend or grandparent.When you lose a child you also lose you hopes and dreams.Nothing compaires to this. 2) Please don't tell me "I Can Have Another Child"This suggest that a future child will be a replacement for the child lost.Remember all we want is THIS child back. 3) Don't Say "Thank God You Have Other Children"This suggests that the surviving child will make up for the child that has passed. 4) Please don't ask "Are You Feeling Better" To a grieving parent this sounds like 'are you over it yet'. The truth is we will never be better.We are changed forever 5) Never ask "Is Everything Back To Normal" Things will never be normal we have lost a big part of our world.Nothing about losing a child is NORMAL. 6) Please don't say "Everything Happens For A Reason" There is no good reason for a child to be taken from their parents. 7) Please don't tell me "He's In A Better Place" There is no better place for a child than in the arms of his loving parents. 8)Please don't remind me "He's now with other family members that have passed" Again we want him here with us. 9) Please don't say "I Don't Know How You Do It".This suggest I was giving a choice in the matter.If I had been the answer would of been Hell NO 10) Please don't tell them "I'm Proud Of You" Grieve is not something you strive to excell at. 11) Under NO circumstance should you ever accuse them of "playing the sympathy card".Unless you have spent 1 moment in their shoes you have no idea the Pain they are actually in.Nobody would ever use the loss of their child to get something.Those of you that have said this should be slapped, repeatedly. There is also things you shouldn't do - Do not avoid saying the child's name.It is music to their ears - Do not avoid them.Grieving is not something you can catch - Do not tell them how hard this loss is on you and if they can help you.It is not their job to help you feel better about it. Do not tell them"To Call If They Need Anything" They are not sure what they need and for them to call and ask makes them feel more different then they already are.Anything you want to help with would be great. - Don't tell them how they should or shouldn't feel.They cannot control their emotions any better then you can. - Never,I repeat NEVER ask them if they knew it was going to end like this would they still of had their child.The answer is always YES - Do not call and "relive" the day that their child passed and ask them if they remember..Of course they remember that day, and chances are they relive that moment more vividly than you could ever imagine