Tonight Robyn is having her first sleepover since the accident,her friend Sarah from Ogdensburg has joined us.I didn't think it would be hard at all.Two teenage girls hanging out, no big deal.Boy was I wrong.I sit in the living room and hear their laughter coming from the other room.The pain hits me like a knife to the heart.How I miss hearing MY 2 kids laughing or even fighting.My once loud house that was filled with laughter and the screams of a scared girl running from her little brother has turned into a library with only an occasional laugh.What I wouldnt give for those days back.I watch the 2 girls playing games and just goofing off and I find myself looking for that little face waiting to intrude on their fun,but he doesnt come.I guess this is just 1 more thing that has changed in our lives.I'm glad to see Robyn having some fun,those moments for her are few and far between.I get so upset just thinking about how her life has changed.At a time in her life when she doesn't want to be different she is crammed in a role that none of her friends can understand and she IS different from them.I wish I could fix this for her but I can't.I don't even understand how she feels and it hurts knowing I can't kiss this hurt away.At times I am so deep in my grief I forget that Dustin was snatched from her life too.She now realizes just how short life can be and bad things DO happen to good ppl.I wonder who will comfort her after her father and I pass now that her only sibling is gone.Who will carry on our Crosby name? I miss so much about my son, his face,his laugh,that smile he gave when he was up to no good,his voice,the way he made me feel and yes...those jeans with the holes in the knees.I have always said ,everything happens for a reason but this has no reason just questions.