I added a few more photos today and did a little touch up.Everybody is started talking about the holidays coming.I however could care less.Our family use to go around the table on Thanksgiving and say what we were thankful for but this year everything has changed.yes, I am thankful for Rob and Robyn and Bubba,but since the accident its hard to focus on that and not whats missing.Christmas is another story,I can't even bring myself to say the word most times. Dusty looked forward to Santa coming every year and we had our things that HAD to be done to ensure he would stop at our house.The next morning was always filled with joy and Bubba would tell how he seen Santa or the reindeer.How can I get through these months without that.I sit and think about the things I took for granted and I always end up in tears.I try to do things so his memory stays alive.I remember his smile,him bringing me flowers-roots and all,him holding my hand on our walks and the way he leaned on me everynight wile watching tv.Yet there are things i am already forgetting like how he smelled,the way he felt against my body and even his voice.I find myself smelling his pillow just to ease my fears.It's hard to describe the feeling that washes through my body as I smell it.I guess it's the way a Junky feels when they get their 'fix'.I dread the day his scent is gone.Life is so unfair, to lose him shattered this perfect family but at times go on we lose a little more of him.What happens when you can't remember much about the boy who loved with all his heart.I fear Dusty will be just a distant memory to some....maybe even his family as little parts are forgotten.So for now I cling to what I have left of my son.