It's been a long time since I wrote in here.I have been hearing stories about what people think about my journal,so i have backed off on the frequency of the entries.They are worried about me and cannot understand why I say what I do...Lets face it, you have not been through what I have,yes there are times my entry is worse than what they imagine.I wear my mask well on most days but sometimes the mask slips off and i am brought to my knees.This journal is a place for me to get my thoughts and feelings out.So if I say something you are not comfortable with than I'm sorry but this IS for me not you.If you think it so so bad than don't read it.I have suffered a terrible loss and I am dealing with it the best way possible.