Last night I had the worse dream about Dustin. He came running up to me, looked me right in the eye and said...My name is Dustin. At first I notice his skin was gray not pink and then I seen his eyes....the sparkle was gone and it was replaced with black, he looked so angry. I reached for him all the while telling him how much I missed him and loved him. Instead of allowing me to take him into my arms and hug him.. he swatted at me and keep pushing me away. I begged him to let me hold him because it has been so long but he just told me NO!! and pushed me away once more before he ran off. I woke up feeling like my son hates me. I know it was just a dream but I could feel how angry he was with me and I just new it was because I couldn't save him. What do you do when you feel your angel child hates you? I don't know, I have noone to ask, and I know noone will understand how I feel. I told Rob about the dream and he told me it was foolish to think Bubba would hate me, he then reminded me of all the times he brought me flowers and present just "cause I love you Mom" I just couldn't shake the feeling even when I went to the cemetery, I stood there thinking ...maybe I don't belong here, maybe he doesn't want me here.Once again my heart broke. How many times can a heart shatter and you go on living? Why must I face this in all aspects of my life?Why Bubba? All I know is I love my son and will give anything to have him in my arms again!!!!