Well tomorrow starts the youth turkey hunt, the weekend Rob and I have looked forward to for years. It is suppose to be our first legal hunt as family. Now it's just another day to dread.Dustin made sure he would be ready for it,he got his certificate a year early, he said he had to have everything ready so he could go with his dad.Well he has the camo clothes,camo rubber boots, a hunting certificate and a gun the only thing missing is HIM.. How do I go tommorrow knowing what is missing and what the day should be like. I know people think it's no big deal it's only a youth hunting season, there are worse days for you to face.. they are right ,there are worse days but what they don't realize is just how important hunting had become to Bubba and the rest of us.This was the activity that brought us together as a family and to have such a huge part missing hurts, it's like a knife going right through my heart.Oh..oh it hurts so bad. I have had my mask on for days so Robyn could be excited about it but, I just can't do it any longer. I miss my son and I want him here for tommorrow and for every day that follows for the rest of my life, but I know I can't have that and...that is the worse feeling to live with...all hope for a happy life is GONE...I hate my life