Today makes 11 months since I seen your smiling face,how can that be..only 11 months it seems like an eternity. I have tried to keep myself occupied by housecleaning and riding with Rob but everywhere I go is a reminder of the fact your not here. Friends I see wish me a "happy" birthday and I guess the look on my face is all thats needed to repond to that. They just don't understand why I cannot celebrate today. I try to just say thanks but I'm not celebrating any 23 of the month but they say....well you should. I never will look at my birthday as the day I was born and celebrate that, its now a marker to how long Bubba has been gone. I miss him so much, it's the little things that I miss most. The way he grinned when he was up to something,the way he threw his socks all over, the way he hugged me hoping to cheer me up.I miss the puppy dog eyes he gave when he "wanted" something. Let's just face it... i miss everything about him. I just want my son back, I don't understand anything about this. What did I do wrong? Why am I being punished? PLEASE PLEASE let me wake up from this horrible dream and see him with us...right where he belongs.