Well today has been a difficult day it makes 7 years since my dad passed away. The weird thing is that him passing doesn't bother me that much it's the fact he is spending today with Dustin.It hurts so much to think that my dad and my son are spending time together in heaven. I rode with Rob all day today, we thought that would be best.Boy was I wrong and I figured that out rather quickly, it seemed like young boys were everywhere. One dark haired boy about Dustin's age and size wearing camo pants went running by the truck and just the sight of him from behind sent me into tears and flashes of the last time I seen Bubba. I just sat there in the truck crying and watching him get further away and all I could think about was how his mother would be waiting for him to come home and I cried harder knowing that my son will never come home to me, his mother would be planning supper for him and how I was planning a memorial shoot for my son.Life is so unfair, and then to add to the excitement of the day Robyn had a DR. app. and as I stepped through the door I seen Dustin's class mate sitting there with his mom. I managed to get out a HI but that was it. I sat in my seat looking at him and wondering how much Dustin would have changed this past year. I watched as him and his mom chatted about the papers she was working on and then I noticed what they were. It was the school yearbook, I tried to stay looking in the other direction but I couldnt for some reason I had to look each time she turned the page.With every new page I thought about Dustin and "if" he would of been on it.Why do I find the need to do this. I KNOW he will not be on those pages, he will not shown in 6th grade,he will not be given an award,he will not play sports and he will not be going to jr. high next year. OK I know all this so why do I still hope it will change.It's not like GOD is going to say...oh my, Corrina is right I made a mistake and I will give Dustin back. I still want to see him get his diploma for 6th grade, I want to see him play football, get married,have children,grow old,... I just want to see him LIVE and do the things with his life that I know he was destined to do.I want my child back, I don't want to do this anymore