Dustin's birthday is Friday.How can that day come when he's not here with me. I have tried to keep myself busy so I wouldn't think about it,planning the balloon release did work for awhile but now......it just hurts.How can God let this day come without Bubba being part of it? How do I make it through that day knowing my baby is gone? I dread opening my eyes on that day.I just don't know how to do it, and I have noone to talk to about it.Why can't he be here for his special day? How do I live year after year knowing that April 4th should be a day to celebrate not to hate. I sit here today crying and yelling at God, this is 1 of those moments where I can be me.I don't need to "play" normal, act strong or as if it doesn't hurt as much as it does.I don't know what hurts more the fact it has been 10 months since I held him or the fact he won't be here Fri all I know is it SUCKS. I just want my boy..Oh God I miss him and need him so. I Love you Dusty please don't every forget that...or me