Well I did it, today I called the mother who lost her 12 year old son about 2 weeks ago. I started out by telling her just how sorry I was for her loss and then explained mine, and at that moment she broke down completly, it was so hard for me to hear the pain that this lady is in because I know it all to well.She said she couldn't talk but had my name and number on caller id. I hung up and than broke down myself.The feelings and images from those 1st few days came flooding back, and I felt so bad..for her this time and not myself. I hate knowing what she is feeling and the long road ahead of her and I realized that,I'm not much better off than her.Yes it has been 9 months 3 weeks and 6 days but I feel as if it were yesterday.People have lied to me saying that it gets better,it doesn't, you see every one else has learned to "move on" or "put it behind them" and for a mother that is not possible so to fit in and to be part of their life you learn how to "internilize it". You learn to keep your thoughts,feelings and your issues to yourself, I guess you can say you wear your mask constantly and you become the best actress around. No body really wants to know what I'm thinking or feeling, they just ask to be polite so I give them what they want to here....A LIE, but at least they are happy and I once again am left alone with this horrible pain in my chest crying for my son. I just want my baby back and for this pain to stop!OH PLEASE SEND ME MY SON BACK!!