Today is a rotten day, not only is it the 23rd but tonight is the football banquet and we must go and hand out Dustin’s award. I have no idea how to walk into a room full of little boys who love football as much as Dustin does, knowing he will not be there. I remember how excited he would be about the banquet and if I close my eyes tight enough I can see him smiling with spaghetti all over his face. I find myself just sitting and thinking of everything I have been though lately. There have been so many changes, I'm finding it hard to adjust to them. As I sit here crying I can't help but think of what my life was "suppose" to be like. The difference is like night and day. All I know is one thing….I want my son back. Oh God.. Why? Why did you take my son? Why did you destroy my family? And Why do you just stand there watching me hurt each and every moment of the day?